Monthly Archives: July 2010

“Okay. I’m going to count to ten…then we’ll start again.”

Despite getting pretty good grades in high school, Carly and I were kind of badly behaved. I guess the lack of a challenge gave us extra time to do stupid stuff. While cleaning my childhood room today, I discovered perhaps … Continue reading

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An Ode to Brunch

All right, friends in Arizona. It’s time you learned about what NYC really has to offer. Sure, there are Broadway shows, and great nightlife, and the Statue of Liberty, but that’s not what I want to talk about. Let’s talk … Continue reading

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How could something as innocent as Bros Icing Bros hurt so much?

It’s with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement from Ice-ing, effective immediately. (Or at least until the next time I get Iced as retaliation for announcing my retirement.) It was the end of May, or the beginning of … Continue reading

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How to Make Friends and Influence People. The Carly/Sarah Apartment Story.

Sarah and I officially have an apartment in Brooklyn as of August 1, 2010. It’s tiny, it’s adorable, it’s directly across the street from a massive cemetery, and it’s ours. After a brief false start in the apartment hunt, Sarah … Continue reading

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“All right, guys, there’s no bathtub in your apartment. You’re going to have to sponge me.”

Our humble apologies to our (very) few fans for not posting anything yesterday. It was probably a huge disappointment. In our defense, we’ve been going through some things. We promise we’ll be a lot funnier tomorrow. In the meantime –

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CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry in advance. We’ve been up since 4:30 A.M. We’re in New York, preparing to drain our bank accounts tomorrow at dawn (i.e. find an apartment). But while I have you here: Can we talk about live music for … Continue reading

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An Open Letter to the Customer at Starbucks who looks like Common

Dear Customer at Starbucks who looks like Common, As much as it pains me to say it, I think it might be over for you and me. After staring at you from afar for the last several months, today marked … Continue reading

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I have no regard for my immortal soul.

Update: I left yet another message on this girl’s cell, probably my fourth or fifth this week, asking her to at least call me and let me know she hasn’t died. No reply. So she’s probably dead or paralyzed, making … Continue reading

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SCULPTED CHEST, YO: Brought to you by the early 00’s LiveJournal Archives

It’s a well documented fact that I reached the peak of my coolness in elementary school. I had everything going for me: I was the new girl in school. I had a hairline fracture in my left arm that resulted … Continue reading

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Men of the world: if you found out a girl you just met had a gently-used wedding dress that doesn’t belong to her sitting in her closet, would you be more or less likely to date her?

It’s an understatement to say that I’ve had some roommate issues in the past year. It would probably be better for me emotionally if I just reflected on the good times as I leave the House of Nightmares, but I … Continue reading

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