Dear Customer at Starbucks who looks like Common,
As much as it pains me to say it, I think it might be over for you and me. After staring at you from afar for the last several months, today marked my last day as a Starbucks barista. Before we part ways forever, there are a few things I want to get off my chest.
I remember when I first laid eyes on you. You ordered a tall latte, and when I asked if you wanted it iced, you said no, even though it was really hot outside. Thank you for laughing when I made a misguided joke about the weather. And for laughing again when I tried the same bad joke the following visit.
I’m sorry if my staring made you uncomfortable. I tried to be discreet, but I think maybe hiding in the back room and peering around the corner actually achieved the opposite effect. I’m also sorry for the time that I thought the window was closed and I announced my less than honorable intentions. Thank you for not calling corporate.
I’m sorry I never learned your name and instead only referred to you as “Customer who looks like Common.” That was probably disrespectful of me. To be fair, you look A LOT like Common.
I wish things could have ended differently for us, customer who looks like Common. I waited on pins and needles today hoping you’d stop by so we could have a proper farewell today. You broke my heart, Customer who looks like Common, you broke it HARD.
Remember that scene in “Just Wright” where Queen Latifah moves to another city and then Common calls her and professes his love over the phone, but then actually he’s right there (just like she’s been right in front of him THE WHOLE TIME)? Well, Customer who looks like Common, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but I’ll be providing detailed descriptions of my whereabouts on this blog. I’m just saying.