Author Archives: Carly

“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 4: P-p-p-poker Face

It’s day two of the longest week of my life, I mean the two part Bachelorette event. Tonight, the crew has traveled all the way to Connecticut. Man, not going too far this season, huh ABC? Tightening the purse strings? … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 3: Boys To Men To Geezers

Well, here we go. This week, the powers that be are lying to us and labeling what is very clearly a scheduling snafu as a “special two part Bachelorette event.” The promos tease a very uneventful, run of the mill … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 2: G Strings and Marble Bags

Well color me giddy, it sounds like someone’s about to get drunk and embarrassing on The Bachelorette. What have we done to deserve such a gift?! Bring on the fun! Bring on the shame! After last week’s rose ceremony, Andi … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 1: Meet the Suitors

It’s been a mere two months since Juan Pablo shat all over everything Chris Harrison stands for as he refused to say “I love you” on national television. Has Harrison recovered? Will he ever? Does he stab a Juan Pablo … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18 Finale: Everyone Hates Juan Pablo

OK. This is late, yes, but there was a LOT to digest here. First of all – Juan Pablo is a walking pile of human garbage with a criminally low IQ, but this was great television. A+, would watch again. … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 10: The Women Tell All

I know we don’t typically recap the Women Tell All episode, but in case anyone is concerned about what they missed, see below: OK now imagine that under that pile of soccer players is Juan Pablo. And then imagine that … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 6: It’s Her Party and She’ll Cry If She Wants To

The promos make this seem like tonight’s episode might actually be the most. dramatic. Bachelor. ever. Will Clare commit a murder suicide following her ocean romp and subsequent public slut shaming? Will Renee be outed as a seemingly decent cyborg … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 5: Sex on the Beach

JP and his Merry Band of Misfits have traveled to Vietnam for the next leg of their journey. There are 11 women left, and they’re staying at an insanely gorgeous resort. It’s infuriating. “Who are we to get to stay … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 4: Juandam Style

OK so real quick before we dive into tonight’s episode: Sean and Catherine’s wedding. Chris Harrison is for real the pimp to Sean’s john. Like, how many times can we allude to Sean and Catherine retiring to their marital bed … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 2: Dogs, Drunks and the Hymen Maneuver

Apparently the first date card was given out in that completely unnecessary Sunday night behind the scenes episode that no one has time for. It’s Clare! Juan Pablo is excited because Clare is clever. Right, nothing says clever like a … Continue reading

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