Category Archives: Uncategorized

“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 5: Sex Gurus, Dead Husbands and Panic Attacks, Oh My!

First things first, my expectations for this episode are SKY HIGH. If Kelsey hasn’t murdered one of the other contestants or herself before these two hours are up, I’m going to be writing a strongly worded letter to Chris Harrison. … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 4: Like Two Virgins

After a hiatus last week I swear I am back for this season because seriously? It’s good. Who would have thought? Farmer Chris may be boring, but this season is not. There are so many insane women! Let’s talk about … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 2: Zombies and Drunks

OMG IT’S HERE! Okay, it was here last week. But seriously? Who has the energy to recap 30 goddamn limo entrances. I’m exhausted even remembering the karaoke machine and the daisy dukes and the seemingly 24 hour long rose ceremony. … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 11: Finally Finale

And there you have it. After 11 episodes and 23 grueling hours, Andi has a fiancé. That’s right, we have spent nearly an entire day watching this quest for love unfold. So, what went down in this live finale event? Well, … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 10: The Men Tell All

Last night, the Men Told All, and it was mostly uneventful. Rather than torture myself with the monstrous task of recapping the many, many ways in which Andrew dug himself into a giant, racism-shaped hole (mixing up the only two … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 9: What’s Your Fan-ta-ta-ta-sy

SEX DATES! SEX DATES! SEX DATES! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! As a reminder, this is really important to Andi because last time she went into the fantasy suites, Juan Pablo revealed that he was a practicing … Continue reading

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“The Bachelorette” Season 10, Episode 8: Four Hometowns and a Funeral

UGH, hometowns. Based on the “tonight on The Bachelorette,” this is about to be really exhausting. Andi, unlike me, is full of optimism as she talks about how incredible all four guys are, and how excited she is for this … Continue reading

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