Tag Archives: The Bachelor

“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 5: Sex Gurus, Dead Husbands and Panic Attacks, Oh My!

First things first, my expectations for this episode are SKY HIGH. If Kelsey hasn’t murdered one of the other contestants or herself before these two hours are up, I’m going to be writing a strongly worded letter to Chris Harrison. … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 4: Like Two Virgins

After a hiatus last week I swear I am back for this season because seriously? It’s good. Who would have thought? Farmer Chris may be boring, but this season is not. There are so many insane women! Let’s talk about … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 19, Episode 2: Zombies and Drunks

OMG IT’S HERE! Okay, it was here last week. But seriously? Who has the energy to recap 30 goddamn limo entrances. I’m exhausted even remembering the karaoke machine and the daisy dukes and the seemingly 24 hour long rose ceremony. … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 18, Episode 9: Is OK though? Is it really?

Hour 1: Carly  Before we get into Juan Pablo and his hat trick of sexual misadventures, I’d like to take a moment to direct everyone to a very special Grantland Podcast, The Juliet Show, featuring an interview with one Christopher … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 17 FINALE!

We did it! The season’s over! And it has been a doozy. When I initially heard about Sean as the Bachelor, I was expecting a painfully boring season. And while he is certainly no Brad, this season did manage to … Continue reading

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The “Women Tell All” episode happened…

And we’re not going to talk about it. We spent the first half of the season learning what a nightmare human Tierra is, and guess what? That’s still true! New information: she’s now engaged. Not new information: her grasp on … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 17, Episode 8: Sex daaaaates! (nothing you say will convince me otherwise, Sean “born again virgin” Lowe)

Well folks, we’re in the final stretch. Sean has taken his final three girlfriends to the South of Thailand to figure out who he has the best sexual chemistry with. Sean lies that he still has no clue who he … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 17, Episode 7: Sean Lowe is crazy about you

Guys! It’s the hometown date episode! Time flies! Only one more week til SEX DATES! We’re starting off in Houston, with poor, broken AshLee. Before meeting Sean, she didn’t know what “real, true love” was. Eesh. So glad that a … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 17, Episode 6: “Nobody’s going to take my sparkle away.”

We open the episode with Sean announcing that he’s decided to break the rules again, and fly into St. Croix with the gals, instead of sequestering them in their usual STD-riddled plane of despair. The women arrive at their beautiful, … Continue reading

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“The Bachelor” Season 17, Episode 5 (part 2): Sean Lowe helps bring shame to a family

Look. I’m just going to be upfront here and save you the disappointment I felt at the end of the episode. No one is going to die tonight, okay? We open the episode with Harrison introducing the second half of … Continue reading

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